Letters To Loki
by TheDoctor'sAmazingCompanion
Summary: Exactly what it says in the title - a series of letters, from characters from the Avengers movie and maybe some other people, at request. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, so this is just very random that I thought up and thought I'd post it on here, because I'm bored and no, I'm not abandoning my other fanfic Hand On Heart, this is just very random Avengers spoof thing... So, enjoy!  
Disclaimer: No, I do not own the Avengers... Depressing... Sigh...**

* * *

Letters To Loki

Dear Brother Loki,  
How are you?  
Love  
Brother Thor

Dear THOR  
Fool, I am not your brother  
Loki

Dear Brother Loki  
We played together, you ARE my brother  
Love  
Brother Thor  
P.S. You didn't answer my question

Dear Thor  
I am fine, although I don't see WHY I'm even bothering to answer  
Loki  
P.S. Again I am NOT your brother

Dear Brother Loki  
I'm good too, Earth is fun, why do you despise it?  
Love  
Brother Thor

Dear Thor,  
I despise it because it is full of idiots and you are one of them!  
Loki  
P.S. Please stop adding 'love' onto the end of your letters; it's weird.

Dear Brother Loki,  
I resent being called an idiot – where did you get that idea from?  
Love (I will never stop this!)  
Brother Thor

Dear Thor,  
Okay, you may not be an idiot, but you are definitely the strangest person I have ever had the displeasure to meet.  
Loki

Dear Brother Loki,  
That is a fair point; Man of Iron said the same thing the other day.  
Love  
Brother Thor

Dear Thor  
Ugh, I'm depressed now; I said the SAME THING as Iron Man?  
Again, ugh.  
Loki

Dear Brother Loki  
What is so bad about that?  
Love,  
Brother Thor

Dear Thor  
You are so ignorant  
Loki  
P.S. Why are you even writing to me anyway?

Dear Brother Loki  
I resent that  
Love  
Brother Thor  
P.S. Why are you replying? ;)

Dear Thor,  
As much as I hate to say it, well played.  
Loki  
P.S. But please don't put that winky face; it's disconcerting and weird.

Dear Brother Loki

Love  
Brother Thor

Dear Thor  
UGH! Why are you so annoying? :-(  
Loki

Dear Loki  
No idea! Peace out, suckers, I have a date!  
Love  
Brother Thor


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, so this was fun to write, I hope you enjoy it xxx :)**

* * *

Dear Loki,  
I've heard that you're sending letters to Thor and I have one question:  
WHY?  
Jane

Dear Jane  
HE SENT A LETTER TO ME FIRST!  
Loki

Dear Loki  
Still, why are you even replying?  
Jane

Dear Jane  
I honestly have no idea.  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
Okay… Just don't be THAT much of a jerk to him…  
I will personally beat you up myself if you are.  
Jane

Dear Jane,  
Ohhh, I'm so scared...  
NOT!  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
Get a life and stop being so childish  
Sheesh.  
Jane

Dear Jane  
NEVER!  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
Oh. Dear. Gods.  
Jane

Dear Jane,  
WHAT DID I DO?  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
Hahahaha, is it true that if you have sugar you get really hyper?  
Jane

Dear Jane  
Noit'snotIjusthaveveryveryverystr angebodilyreactionsnowplease stopdiscussingmywithThorit'sreallynotniceandIdonotappre ciateit,youpeoplearesomean!  
Loki

Dear Loki,

How much sugar did you have?  
Jane

Dear Jane,  
Well,Ihadsomehotchocolate,then12cakes,morehotchocolate,15chocolatebars,3biscuits,amilkshake,lemonade,cola,pepsi(aretheythesamething?)evenmorehotchocolate,teawith8sugars,morecake,morechocolate,evenmoreteawith10sugarsandlo tsandlotsmore…  
Loki

Dear Loki  
OH. MY. DEAR. GODS…  
You need professional help, I'm going to get you a psychiatrist…  
Jane

Dear Jane  
WHAT DID I DO NOW?  
I DON'T NEED A SHRINK, I'M PERFECTLY SANE, I JUST WANT TO RULE HUMANITY ANDIJUSTGETVERYHYPERWHENIHAV ESUGAR!  
… … … Maybe I do need professional help… :l  
Loki


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, so this chapter goes to my reviewer ArchetypeOfAnarchy, who suggested Darcy, so enjoy!  
Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers or any of the characters that show in this fanfic/spoof... Thing xxx :)**

* * *

Dear Loki,  
Jane told me about your, erm...'Sugar problem' and she said you needed a counsellor… Well, at the moment, we're skint so… Here I am!  
Darcy

Dear Darcy,  
Okay… You're my psychiatrist? Well… This should be interesting…  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
Why did you want to take over Earth?  
Darcy

Dear Darcy,  
What kind of a stupid question is that?  
Loki

Dear Loki  
Why are you avoiding the question?  
Darcy

Dear Darcy  
Because I don't see the point of answering it  
Loki

Dear Loki  
YOU ARE SO ANNOYING AND STUPID AND… UGH!  
Darcy

Dear Darcy  
Um… Thanks?  
Loki

Dear Loki  
No, not thanks! You really do need professional help and I am not it!  
Darcy

Dear Darcy  
I do not need professional help! Just because I get hyper over sugar and wanted to take over humanity does not mean I'm mental! I mean seriously, all I wanted was approval from my Father and to get vengeance on my brother Thor for what he did to me!  
Loki

Dear Loki  
HA! You answered my question; reverse psychology. Works EVERY time!  
Darcy

Dear Darcy  
DAMN YOU TO THE DEEPEST PIT OF JOTUNHEIM!  
Loki

Dear Loki  
Hehehe, I get that a lot, although normally it's 'Hell' instead of 'Jotunheim'.  
Darcy

Dear Darcy  
Shut up, foolish mortal.  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
Says the guy who spilled his guts to the shrink.  
Darcy

Dear Darcy  
AGH!  
Loki


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so this chapter is for Violetrose25 :)  
Disclaimer: No I do not own the Avengers... Sigh... xxx :)**

* * *

Dear Reindeer Games,  
Why are you harassing my friends?  
Tony

Dear Tony  
They wrote to me first and I do not appreciate being called 'Reindeer Games'  
Loki

Dear Reindeer Games  
Tough, I'm not going to stop this  
Oh and Darcy told me about you 'spilling your guts to the shrink'…  
SUCKER!  
Tony

Dear Tony  
Shut up pathetic quim; I will kill you slowly and painfully in every way you fear  
Loki

Dear Reindeer Games  
Yeah, good luck with that, you 'puny god'  
Tony

Dear Tony  
*Pales* You… You wouldn't… Not the H-hulk…  
Loki

Dear Puny God  
What's wrong? Do you not like the Hulk?  
Tony

Dear Tony  
NO I DON'T! HE SMASHED ME AROUND A ROOM; IF HE DID THAT TO YOU WOULD YOU LIKE HIM?!  
Loki

Dear Reindeer Games  
Hahaha, I know, I got Jarvis to replay the footage – the whole of Stark Towers saw it  
Tony

Dear Tony  
The… The WHOLE of Stark Towers… *whimpers*  
Loki

Dear Reindeer Games  
Hahaha, yep!  
Happy Easter puny god!  
Tony

Dear Tony  
It's not even Easter you freak!  
Loki

Dear Reindeer Games  
Oops; I've just come back from watching Rise Of The Guardians, give me a break!  
Tony

Dear Tony  
What is this Guardians Rising you speak of?  
Loki

Dear Reindeer Games  
It's 'Rise Of The Guardians' and it is a cartoon film, about Santa Clause, Tooth Fairy, Sandman and the Easter Bunny.  
Tony

Dear Tony,  
O… kay?  
You mortals are so strange  
Loki

Dear Reindeer Games  
Thanks dude, now if you'll excuse me, I have a date.  
Tony


	5. Chapter 5

**Yeah, so here's the next chapter... I was lacking inspiration for characters for a while, until a reviewer suggested Coulson...  
So here it is! Enjoy!  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers xoxox**

* * *

Dear Loki,  
Hi  
Phil Coulson

Dear Phil,  
Didn't I kill you?  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
Yes. Yes you did, but I'm back now.  
Phil

Dear Phil  
How?  
Loki

Dear Loki  
I don't know do I?  
Phil

Dear Phil  
Fair point. But please stop writing to me, I'm trying to enjoy ice cream from Burger King.  
Who is this King of Burger anyway?  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
You poor poor thing. Anyway, I though you couldn't have sugar? ;)  
Phil

Dear Phil,  
… Oh hell…  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
HAHAHAHA SUCKER!  
Phil

Dear Phil,  
Don't be mean!  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
Me, being mean?  
YOU KILLED ME… Tried to anyway, but STILL!  
Phil

Dear Phil,  
Okay, no need to get your knickers in a twist.  
Sheesh.  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
Ugh, now I know why I tried to shoot you with that blaster thing.  
Phil

Dear Phil,  
Hey! That hurt!  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
Do you know what else hurts?  
Phil

Dear Phil,  
No, what?  
Loki

Dear Loki,  
GETTING STABBED IN THE BACK WITH A SCPETRE!  
Now stop writing to me, Captain America's about to sign my trading cards!  
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA YAY!  
Phil

Dear Phil,  
… And _I'm_ the one that needs help…?  
Sheesh…  
Loki


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Loki  
I hate you.  
Clint

Dear Clint  
I hate you too but quick question: why?  
Loki

Dear Loki  
YOU POSSESSED ME AND YOUR SERIOUSLY WONDERING WHY I HATE YOU?!  
Clint

Dear Clint  
You're*  
Loki

Dear Loki  
Your such an idiot: just thought I should let you know. ;)  
Clint

Dear Clint  
You're*  
Loki

Dear Loki  
FINE! HOW ABOUT WE MEET UP AND THEN I CAN KICK YOU'RE ASS INTO THE NEXT CENTURY!  
Clint

Dear Clint  
Your*  
Please learn your grammar properly… This is getting so annoying.  
Loki

Dear Loki  
Whatever -_-  
Clint

Dear Clint  
Awwwh, did I make someone sad? :P  
Loki

Dear Loki  
Keep talking and I'll get Natasha and the HULK on you! ;)  
Clint

Dear Clint  
I hate you.  
Loki

Dear Loki  
DITTO! Anyway. I have a date with Tasha, see you around, Puny god.  
Clint

Dear Clint  
… Why does everyone have dates?  
I need a girlfriend… :(  
Loki


End file.
